Posts

Health January 15

 I have heard many times where the caretaker dies before the person they are caring for. Little did I know what that meant until my anxiety and panic attacks kicked in. Not bad enough to be ground to the house due to covid but be in a surrounding that is toxic. As I write I think I do so for the therapeutic and general escape from this particular reality. It is crucial to find me time. I don't think people realize what anxiety and panic attacks are like until they have suffered them. Each situation different as is each individual. People say to not stress or don't think about it but then again, they don't realize what the subconscious can actually do and how it controls the body.  Trying to find that happy place.....

Friday January 14th

 I am not sure if I am caught up in a case of " the sky is falling " or Covid is really taking its toll. I am fully vaccinated for what that's worth as a couple in the neighborhood recently died from covid and were fully vaccinated. So here goes on house arrest when not committing a crime. I have been a caretaker for more years than I care to mention. Though the sympathy is always on the person disabled and not the person whose life is disrupted while caring for them. This is my misery End stage Copd is a disease that no one would wish on their worst enemy. Though pretty much in lock down before the Covid Virus took place it has been worse yet since Dr. Appts have become an online event. I could write a blog on all the effects on the covid patient but at the moment I am focused on self-survival. It is a mix between house arrest, cabin fever and hell. Weight gain, anxiety, stress, loneliness, one's own failing health and not letting the media, news channels and online